It is never too late to change or continue growing. 

My goal is progress, not perfection. 

I can be a great role model to others. 

Physical Touch: A youth expressing their love language through physical touch may seek closeness by sitting on your lap, holding your hand, or invading your personal space. Creating a secret handshake or giving a quick hug as you pass by can strengthen your bond. Consider letting them sit on your lap for a story at bedtime or tucking them in if they’re too big.

Quality Time: If your youth values quality time, they might want to be around you, follow you, or feel frustrated if plans change. Scheduling special one-on-one activities and dedicating distraction-free moments, like dinner or bedtime, for meaningful conversations can fulfill their need for quality time. This can also be seen with siblings, as a youth who values quality time with a parent can become jealous if another sibling is getting more attention or takes away from what they view as their 1-on-1 time with their parent. 

Acts of Service: A youth expressing love through service may ask for help with tasks, even if they can do it themselves. Encourage independence, but be open to doing simple chores together. If they offer to help you, appreciate their gesture and recognize it as their way of showing love.

Words of Affirmation: A youth with words of affirmation as their love language may seek praise for their achievements or express their feelings verbally. They may constantly say things like “Look what I did”, “look at what I made,” or “Watch this”. In these moments, your youth may be looking for those words of encouragement or positive reinforcement for things they accomplished. Be mindful of your tone, choose positive words, and praise them often for their actions and talents to impact their mood positively. These youth may become extra frustrated or act out when being yelled at or reprimanded. If you think your youth feels love through words of affirmation, try praising them often for the positive actions they use and their talents. 

Gifts: A youth communicating their love language as gifts may constantly ask you to buy toys for them while at the store and become more frustrated than other youth might when you tell them no. These youth may see birthdays and holidays as a big deal and may expect others to “go all out” on decorations… and of course the gifts! Youth who give and receive love through gift-giving may make a big deal out of receiving gifts and tend to be more sentimental with their possessions or gifts they have received from people. Additionally, these youth may express their love back by giving their own gifts in return, whether it is a handmade card or a pretty rock that they found on the ground and now want you to keep. Gifts given out of the blue, rather than as rewards, can carry more significance. Celebrate special occasions with thoughtful gifts and cherish the sentimental value of the items they give you in return.

Take the Love Languages Quiz today to help you find out what your love languages are. There is a quiz for both adults and youth. Encourage friends, family, and your youth to take it as well. Here is a downloadable Love Languages Mystery Game which is another way to help younger youth determine their love languages. 

Learn the love languages of your youth and those you spend time with frequently. Once you understand the way people show and receive love, you can better show your love and appreciation, and better the communication in the relationship. 

If you are an educator, consider introducing this concept into the classroom, and share the quiz or the mystery game with the students. After all, knowledge is power and the earlier youth can articulate how they show and receive love, the earlier they can begin to understand it and communicate it with others in their personal lives.